Sex and Disabilities
Question of the Day:
Angel, I started dating a woman a short time ago who has a disability. She can no longer walk and is confined to a wheelchair. While I’m very much falling in love with her, I’m not sure how to deal with intimacy when the time comes. I’m attracted to this beautiful person that I’m afraid to hurt. I don’t want her to think that I see only her disability, but it is a real factor here. What do I do to keep from loosing her, but practice sex that it wholly safe for her?
Angel’s Point Of View:
What her disability is will effect the specifics of how you do things safely, but for the most part, disabled people can lead perfectly normal sex lives. First, talk to her doctor. I guarantee any doctor that works with her disability has been asked about sex before. The doctor will let you know what precautions to take. Second, use common sense. If her disability effects her muscles and joints, don’t try sex swinging from the cieling fan.
Common sense is the biggest factor in addressing a challenge to sex. There are ramps and pillows designed to maintain body angles for sex called Love Bumpers. If she has a hard time controlling her legs, try these neat pillows so she does not have to fight to stay in a position. Get creative, if muscle spasms are a problem for her, find positions that help her relax, and only use soft rubber or cyberskin toys instead of hard plastic.
Lastly, talk to her. Unless she’s a virgin, she probably has a few ideas or thoughts on how to make sex everything it should be between you. Talk about working through this together and move forward when you both are ready. The rest will work itself out.
